You wonder if there is a nearby puddle deep enough to drown yourself in.
You go to the local 2-star cafe two nights in a row in the hope of food poisoning.
You offer your children money to pretend to be ill.
You wish for a 3-week early crippling period.
You weigh up the pros and cons of wishing you were pregnant with bad morning sickness.
You pray for the mother in law to piss your partner off before the day.
You check and recheck your lottery ticket, if you’ve won you still have time to get away.
You can’t think about the occasion without your face morphing into… let’s just say something else.
You consider enrolling in a course that requires an immediate assignment.
The ‘I think we need space’ talk becomes an option worth considering.