Relationship Alert – 16 Red Flags To Look Out For.
Are you ready for 16 Red Flags to look out for when you are in an relationship?
This blog post contains the red flags /signs that close friends and I saw but chose to ignore.
You know the ones that when you think about them after the relationship finally ends, you think “Why didn’t I leave then?” Or the classic – “I should of left when…”
Before you even start reading any more of this post I want to make a few things clear, I am not a relationships expert – I am pretty crap at relationships but I am a person who learns from my mistakes and notices habits and patterns. Although there are no names in this post #BeKind, I can assure you that the sources of the materials used in this post are parties I know and yes that includes myself.
These are signs to look out for and not scenarios to create. That’d be really unhelpful. My suggestion – Read it, have a laugh, think about it, read it again, remember it, share it with a friend, bookmark it, discuss with a friend, follow me on Instagram and don’t forget this post.
This blog post may contain affiliate links. Don’t worry these links are official and won’t incur you any additional charge but I’ll get a bit of commission towards my debt free journey. Thank you for all your support in advance.
Why is your phone on silent/ off?
If their phone is always on silent or off when they are with you, that is a red flag.
Don’t fall for that foolish line of –
“I just don’t want anyone to interrupt our night Hun”
Day 17: "Babe, lend me £50"
Them asking to borrow money is not bad presay BUT asking to borrow money waaaay too early on in the relationship is a definite Red Flag.
The beginning of the relationship is where we show each other us and where we set the pace (set boundaries) for the relationship.
Now can you see why it is a Red Flag?
"You're being petty, it's just my ex."
If they drop these lyrics on you and/or they seem fine with you being uncomfortable with the string of calls that they are receiving from their exes… this is Red Flag. A big one.
"I'm just looking for the switch"
If they cannot find anything in their place the first time you go there, this is a red flag.
Hun, they do not live there.
“Sorry, they only had one”
If they come back from the shop with one of the chocolate bar that you asked them to get and it’s not for you… this is what I call “Badmind” , this is a Red Flag. Keep an eye out of for this kind of selfish/ thoughtless behavior.
“My ex is crazy, I don’t know why they keep calling”
2021 We know that this is not always the case, is a classic tactic.
If it is true, your partner blocking, ignoring and/or changing their number will prove that.
If they don’t then there’s your Red Flag.
No Compliments.
You get a drastic new haircut and they say nothing. I don’t care what the reason is, this is a Red Flag.
"I forgot that you don't drink Cow's milk"
You ask them to pick up milk on the way over and they arrive with Cows Milk (you only drink everything but). “Like do you even know me?” Red Flag.
Due Dates.
If there has been 3 pay days (that’s three months) since they borrowed money from you and still haven’t paid it back.
A huge Red Flag. No respect.
Oh and you’re probably not getting your money back either.
"I have children but, I don't see them."
This not about judgement but if their actions don’t match their reason for this then…there is your Red Flag.
"I can do that but, you can't".
Their expectations of you and what you should be giving to the relationship doesn’t seem to match what they are bringing to the relationship. It’s 2021 people – Red Flag here.
“Errm, who are you?”
Everyone calls them by another name. Yes, there is such thing as a nickname and it is possible but everyone. Ask the question – “Errm who are you?” because this could be a possible Red Flag.
"I don't believe in romance"
Woah… huh… okay people … if you are an romantic person and they knew this before then… this is a Red Flag.
Why? Think about it.
"Oh go on, you know you want to..."
If you keep saying “No” and they cannot hear you. Huh.This is a huge ‘Red Flag‘.
Listen, being pestered until you give the answer they want is… manipulation >> Emotional & Mental Abuse.
"What about me?"
Sex takes two (at least), comfortably satisfying your partner is part of it but, if you find yourself thinking “What about me?” then… there’s your Red Flag.
"I want to come back"
Uh oh, the return of the ex. The RED FLAG.
Be careful, be very careful. I am not saying that it will not work because sometimes it does work out. However, polish that memory of yours and start try playing spot the difference. In my past experience, it usually takes up to 10 weeks to start seeing why I left in the first place.
Dear Reader....
Jokes aside, how many of these can you relate to?
The chances are that we’re describing the Traits of a Narcissist.
In denial? Okay like I said I am not an expert by qualification but, I have had the experience.
But like me, you’ll need more proof, don’t you?
Check these out, in your own time.
The Narcissist Personality Disorder Test
Signs and symptoms of narcissistic personality disorder
How to deal with a narcissist.
Narcissist: How to Identify and Deal with the Personality Trait of a Narcissist
Blessings and Love
xxx
3 Comments
Basic with Life
I agree, listening to our gut feeling is important. Thank you for your comments.
Maria Vana
Heya!
while I totally agree with some things such as signs of abuse, exes hanging around, and having mismatching responsibility and effort put into the relationships, I also have some disagreements.
1. Both I and my husband have always been known to keep our phones silent. We just generally like our peace and quiet, and so there is no reason to see this as a red flag. on the other hand, if your partner starts being nervous and fiddly and evades when you ask about it, that is a different story.
2. Looking for the switch, or anything really. What if the person doesn’t typically cook, or spends a lot of time out of their place. Say they are a pilot or something. or what if their place is a mess and they loaned their parent’s summer house? If unsure about whether someone lives in the place they brought you into or not, why not just ask? I’m sure the reaction will reveal something interesting either way!
3. Compliments are a double edge blade. What might be important and drastic to you, might not be that to someone else. I feel like people are often so upset about something ridiculously specific that they tend to forget the person saying something like ”oh you look nice today”, just because it wasn’t about the specific thing. Compliments are nice, but they are not something anyone owes us, just like we don’t owe it to anyone else.
Anyway, a lot of the flags are so hard to see that we need people to point things out sometimes, thank you for this post!
I hope you have a wonderful day!
Molly @ Transatlantic Notes
I always think we get that feeling in our gut that tells us something isn’t right. It’s easy to brush them off as nothing to be worried about (I know I did in a previous relationship) bit eventually they all add up. We must listen to our instincts sometimes — thanks for sharing this.